A man and his wife were arguing over sex.

Man: Sex is work!
Wife: Sex is pleasure!
Man: I don’t blame you, you don’t know what men are going through.
Wife: All I know is that sex is pleasure whether you like it or not.

The argument lasted for a long time until they decided to invite their house help to hear his own version.

House Help: Yes Sir?
Man: Is sex work or pleasure?
House Help: Ehmmm. Boss, sex is pleasure because if sex was work, you would have called on me to do it.

3 young men met one pretty lady after church service. The men decided to introduce themselves. The first man says, I am Joseph but not the dreamer, the second man says I am John but not the Baptist and the last man says I am Abraham but not the father of nations. The pretty lady said hello to her new friends and introduced herself as Mary but not a virgin.

A Son who was schooling far away from home once sent a sms to his father. “Father, the situation here is critical. Please, send me some money, suicide contemplated”.
The Father replied, Son, the situation at home is more critical. Suicide approved.

MAN: I Have Facebook, BBM, KIK, Imo, Twitter, Google Plus, Yahoo, Tumblr, Msn, Skype, Snapchat, Instagram and G-Talk
FRIEND: Buddy, do you have a life?
AKPOS: OMG! No I don't! Send me the link to download it.