A man who hadn't attended church in years suddenly began attending faithfully on Sunday mornings instead of going fishing as was his normal habit.
The pastor was highly gratified and at the end of service one morning told him, "How wonderful it makes me feel to see you at services with your good wife!"
"Well, Preacher," said the fisherman, "Quite honestly, it's a matter of choice. I'd much rather hear your sermon than hers."
I’m working on a new typeface to be used for church bulletins...
I call it 'Baptismal Font.'
A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked.
"What did you take?" his priest asked.
"Enough to build my own house and enough for my son's house. And houses for our two daughters and our cottage at the lake."
"This is very serious," the priest said. "I shall have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a retreat?"
"No, Father, I haven't," the man replied. "But if you can get the plans, I can get the lumber."
A local Pastor joined a community service club, and the members thought they would have some fun with him.
Under his name badge they printed "Hog Caller" as his occupation. Everyone made a big fanfare as the badge was presented.
The Pastor responded by saying, "I usually am called the 'shepherd of the sheep'... but you know you people better than I do."