What do you call someone who only believes in 12.5% of the Bible?
An eighth-eist.
Why can’t Satan’s cheerleading squad win any competitions?
Because they have literally no chants in Hell.
Six-year-old Ned's mother was looking through an old family Bible when an oak leaf fell out.
Ned said, "That must be Adam's."
A preacher stood up before his congregation and said, "I have so much to say, I don't know where to begin."
Someone in the pew shouted, "How about somewhere close to the end?"