A preacher was known for long and boring sermons.
He preached for about one hour when he stopped to scold the congregation.
He said, "I know you think my sermons are long, but I've got something important to tell you. I don't mind you looking at your watches while I'm preaching, but I want you to know that I resent you shaking them to see if they're still running."
I was reading the parable of the Good Shepherd to my little girl for her bedtime story. I got to the part about the Good Shepherd counting the 99 sheep, expecting to have 100, and getting ready to go out to find that one lost sheep.
Great bedtime story, great message about a father's infinite love, right?
Then my daughter asks, "Daddy, he was counting sheep, right? When he was counting those ninety-nine sheep, why didn't he fall asleep when he got to around number 20?"