St. Peter was standing at the Pearly Gates one day when a man suddenly appeared before him. The man said "Let me in" but before St. Peter could say anything the man disappeared.
A few minutes later the man appeared again and said, "Let me in!" Again, before St. Peter could say anything, the man disappeared.
A few minutes later the man appeared again and said frantically, "Let me in quick!"
St. Peter said, "Are you playing games with me?"
The man said, "No! They're trying to resuscitate me!"
Sister Grace at the convent opened a letter from home and found a $100 bill from her parents. She smiled at the gesture. As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily-dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below.
Quickly, she wrote, "Don't despair. Sister Grace" on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, and tossed it out the window. The stranger picked it up and read the note. He tipped his hat to Sister Grace and hurried away.
The next day, Sister Grace was told that a man was asking to see her. She went down and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills.
"What's this?" she asked.
"That's your $8,000, sister," he replied. "'Don't Despair' paid 80-to-1."