Having grown up just outside New York City, I barely knew a cow from an ear of corn. Until, that is, I married a small town Ohio girl.
While I was in seminary school, I had a temporary assignment at a church in a rural community. The day of my first sermon, I tried very hard to fit in. Maybe too hard.
With my wife sitting in the first pew, I began my discourse, "I never saw a cow until I met my wife."
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.
One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"
The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy turned out. It's probably just your Dad."
Harry walked over to the Priest after services, “You know Father, I am really stuck in a quandary. I would like to attend church next week but I just can’t miss the big game next Sunday, it’s just out of the question.”
“Oh Harry, Harry” said the Priest putting his arm around Harry. “Don’t you know, that’s what recorders are for.”
Harry’s face lit up, “You mean I could record your sermon?”
After a worship service, a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet.
About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, "If you don't be quiet, the Pastor is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again."