religious jokes

It seems that the older we are the more we read the Bible...

Are we cramming for finals?

The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor's study and asked for help.

The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment. Finally he looked serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock. The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," she said.

"It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling."

A young yet accomplished historical theologian and author went to the Vatican holding written permission to view certain archives. He asked the priest who had greeted him if he could see the archives pertaining to stigmata.

The priest replied only the man upstairs knows how to help you with that subject. The rather perplexed young man then asked, "Are you trying to say I need to speak directly with the almighty Father Himself?

With a slight smile on his face the priest replied, "Not at all my son. I was talking about Brother Thomas who overseas the archives on the second floor."

After a very passionate sermon the preacher was standing at the door to greet the departing congregation when one very upset lady said, "Pastor, I am very disappointed in your sermon...you said the word 'damn'."

"Oh," said the Pastor. "I am sorry if I offended you. What did I say just before that word?"

"I don't remember," she said.

"Well, what did I say after that word?"

"I don't remember," she said.

"I guess it was good that I used that word or you would not have heard ONE WORD I said."