A youngster was being shown a new baby who was very bald.
"Where did he come from?" he asked.
"From Heaven," replied a nurse.
Turning to his mother, the boy said, "Gee, they cut hair close in heaven, don't they?"
Donald: I’d like to tell you a joke about the measles, but I’d better not.
Mike: Why not?
Donald: You know how those things spread.
A proud father never tired of telling how smart his son Arthur was.
“Arthur could recite the Gettysburg Address when he was ten years old. Lincoln didn’t say it until he was fifty!”
Why are ghosts bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them.