Me: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
8 yr old nephew: "To get to the idiot's house."
Me: "Oh... uh... yeah, good one, haha."
8 yr old nephew: "Wanna hear another one? Knock knock..."
Me: "Who's there?"
8 yr old nephew: "The chicken."
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.
As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.
As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
A father thought it was about time to lecture his son, who was somewhat scatter-brained and frivolous.
"Jim," he said, "you're getting to be a man now and you ought to take life more seriously. Just think, if I died all of a sudden, where would you be?"
"I'd be right here, dad," said Jim. "The better question is, where would YOU be?"