Vern: Do you think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman?
Teddy: What are you, crazy?
Vern: Why not? I saw the other day he was carrying five elephants in one hand!
Teddy: You don't know nothing! Mighty Mouse is a cartoon. Superman's a real guy. There's no way a cartoon could beat up a real guy.
Vern: Yeah, maybe you're right. It'd be a good fight, though.
Six-year-old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first embarrassing moment at school. Her mother, very interested, asks, "Oh, how did it go?"
"I nearly died of shame!" she answers. "Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage. Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital."
Her mother answers laughingly, "But that's no reason to be ashamed."
"No, but I can't tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!"
Brenda's five-year-old grandson Logan was spending the evening at his grandparents' home. He asked if he could watch the "Brer Rabbit" video and then made a second request to watercolor.
Brenda asked him which one of the two he wanted to do.
He looked up and replied, "Grandma, I have two eyes. I can do two things at once."
I had finished my Christmas shopping early and had wrapped all the presents. Having two curious children, I had to find a suitable hiding place. I chose an ideal spot—the furnace room. I stacked the presents and covered them with a blanket, positive they’d remain undiscovered.
When I went to get the gifts to put them under the tree, I lifted the blanket and there, stacked neatly on top of my gifts, were presents addressed to "Mom and Dad, From the Kids."