Son: "Mom, do I look like God?"
Mom: "No, honey. Why?"
Son: "Because everywhere I go, people say, 'Oh God, he is back!'"
Two young boys were out playing. One of them was showing off his new water pistol.
"Tell your mom you want one of these too. Then we can shoot water at each other!" he exclaimed.
" I don't think so," said the other boy. "My mom says we have hard water!"
Why did the cat go for a walk on the beach at night on Christmas eve?
He wanted to get sandy claw.