A small boy turned to his Aunt Mildred and said, "Wow, you're not pretty!"
His mother overheard the remark and was appalled. She took him aside and gave him a real telling-off before ordering him to go back out to say sorry to Aunt Mildred.
Suitably chastened, the boy went over and said quietly, "Aunt Mildred, I'm sorry you're not pretty."
Teacher: What's 5 plus 3?
Student: Um... I don't know?
Teacher: You silly boy, it is 8.
Student: Wait... yesterday you said that 4 and 4 was 8?!?!
After trying to for hours to get my daughters to clean their room, I burst in and yelled, "GET THIS ROOM CLEAN NOW, BEFORE I HAVE A COW!!!"
My youngest daughter (3 years old) looked at me with a very puzzled expression and said, "You mean you'd get rid of us and have a cow instead?"