kid jokes

After years of using the same perfumes, I decided to try something different and settled on a light, citrusy fragrance.

The next day I was surprised when it was my little boy, not my husband, who first noticed the change.

As he put his arms around me, he declared, "Wow Mom, you smell just like Froot Loops!"

During weekly visits to my allergist, I’ve noticed a lot of inattentive parents with ill-behaved children in the waiting room. So I was impressed one day to see a mother with her little boy, helping him sound out the words on a sign.

Finally he mastered it and his mother cheered, "That’s great! Now sit there. I’ll be back in 15 minutes."

What did the sign say?

"Children must not be left unattended."

My older son loves school, but his younger brother absolutely hates it. One weekend he cried and fretted and tried every excuse not to go back on Monday. Sunday morning on the way home from church, the crying and whining built to a crescendo.

At the end of my rope, I finally stopped the car and explained, "Honey, it’s a law. If you don’t go to school, they’ll put Mommy in jail."

He looked at me, thought a moment, then asked, "How long would you have to stay?"

Parent: "Why did you swallow the money I gave you?"

Child: "Well, you did say it was my lunch money."