kid jokes

Two boys were fishing on the bank of a river. The one boy remarked that being a visionary must be very difficult. He went on to say much more and added that visionaries are seldom understood in they're life time.

The other boy replied, "Then you must be a visionary, cause I have no idea what you’re talking about!"

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.

"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.

"Tommy," replied the second.

"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.

Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Billy.

"No, just the regular kind," replied Tommy.

A boy was talking to his kindergarten friend at recess. He said, "When I grow up I want to be the big bad wolf."

"Why?" asked his friend.

"Because I want to deliver presents to kids all over the world on Christmas," he replied.

Looking puzzled his friend said, "I believe you’re thinking of Santa Claus."

"Nope," he replies, "it’s the big bad wolf. How else are you going to put presents in locked houses?"

"Then what does Santa Clause do?" asked the friend.

"Santa puts money under your pillow if you lose a tooth. Next recess I’ll tell you how Little Red Riding hood met the three bears. Oh and why the Easter Bunny hangs out with the three little pigs who went wee, wee, wee, all the way home!"

"How do you know all this stuff?"

"It’s easy, mom makes my dad read to me every night."

Son: Dad, will you remember me in 5 years?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 1 year?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 6 months?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 1 month?
Dad: Yes

Son 1 week?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 5 days?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 5 hours?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 1 hour?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 30 minutes?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 1 minute?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 1 second?
Dad: Yes.

Son: Knock Knock
Dad: Who's there?
Son: See, you forgot me already!!!