Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explained. "And today is the happiest day in her life."
The child thought about this for a moment and then asked, "So why is the groom wearing black then?"
As a distinguished matron approached the church entrance, a little boy stepped aside and held the door for her.
"What a polite little doorman," she said as she walked through. "Is there a tip involved?"
"Oh, no," answered the young man. "My mother taught me never to be good for money, but always to be good for nothing."
A father came home from work one night to find his little boy sitting on the cat, with a pen and paper in his hand.
“Why are you sitting on Felix?” he asked.
“Well, teacher told us to write an essay on the family pet.”
Doug had just formed his own rock band, and his little brother said one day,
“Doug, I wish you and your band could be on TV!”
“You think we’re good, eh?”
“Then I could turn you off!”