kid jokes

When Grandpa and Billy entered their vacation cabin, they kept the lights off until they were inside to keep from attracting insects. Still, a few fireflies followed them in. Noticing them before Grandpa did, Billy whispered, ‘It’s no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.’

Sally was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 5-year-old daughter to answer the phone.

“Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”

A nursery school driver was delivering a van full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said Tommy.

"No," said Billy, "he’s just for good luck."

Peter brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," he said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

Mother asks little Johnny, as they wait for the bus, to tell the driver he is 4 years old when asked because he will ride for free. As they get into the bus the driver asks Johnny how old he was. "I am 4 years old". "And when will you be six years old?" asks the driver. “When I get off the bus" answers Johnny.