kid jokes

Alfie had been listening to his sister practicing her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas Carols."

"That’s nice of you, Alfie," she said. "Why?"

"Then I'd only have to hear you once a year!"

“I hear you’ve got a new baby sister,” said Jonathan to his friend William.
“Yeah.”
“Is she fun to play with?”
“Nah.”
“Well, why don’t you change her?”
“We can’t,” explained William, “we’ve had her for a week already.”

“Johnny, I’ve had a letter from your Principal, said the father.
It seems you’re very careless with your appearance.”
“Am I, Dad?”
“Yes. You haven’t appeared in school since last semester!”

The three friends were walking home from school. “What shall we do this afternoon?” said one. “I know,” said the second, let’s spin a coin. If it comes down heads let’s go skating, and if it comes down tails let’s go swimming.” “And if it comes down on its edge,” said the third, “let’s stay in and do our homework!”