The Bennett family had just moved into the neighborhood and was anxious to make a good impression. But the neighbors seemed busy and not interested.
One day Matthew, their youngest boy, ran into the house and announced, ''Ma, a lady down the street just asked me my name!''
Mother replied, ''Great! And then what happened?''
Matthew said, ''Oh, she gave it to the policeman.''
Eight-year-old Daniel heard his grandmother tell his mother that a football was needed for the family dinner Sunday night. Daniel couldn't imagine why, but if he could help grandma prepare the meal, he would. But he didn't have a football, so he went over to Greg's house and traded 50 baseball cards for an old deflated football. He pumped it up, shined it and placed it on the kitchen table waiting for grandma to discover it.
''Daniel!'' his mother exclaimed, ''You know Grandma is cooking tonight. Please put your things where they belong!''
Daniel was holding back the tears, ''But it's for Grandma! She said she needed a football for dinner.''
Mother did her best to hold back the laughter, ''You know Grandma and her Irish accent. She meant a FRUIT BOWL!''
When the mother returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled out the box of animal crackers he had begged for. Then he spread the animal-shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter.
"What are you doing?" his mom asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained."I'm looking for the seal."
My son told his teacher the Indians could not possibly have served popcorn to the Pilgrims at the first Thanksgiving because they didn't have microwave ovens.