lawyer jokes

Category: "Lawyer Jokes"
$25.00 won 11 votes

Death comes to take a lawyer away.

The lawyer cries and pleads, "Why so early? I am only forty!"

Death replies, "Not according to the hours you billed."

11 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "tweetyr" |
1 votes

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers.

"So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."

Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000."

The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon. "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "papajon" |
1 votes

A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand."

Not one hand went up . . . . so she took them home and ate them.

1 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "papajon" |
0 votes

The Ten Commandments display was recently removed from the Alabama Supreme Court building. There was a good reason for the move.

You can’t post Thou Shalt Not Steal, Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery, and Thou Shall Not Lie in a building full of lawyers and politicians without creating a hostile work environment.

0 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |