lawyer jokes

A man hired a lawyer when he got sued by his company for the embezzlement of many millions. At the beginning of the process, the lawyer kindly reassured him, "Don’t worry, you’ll never go to jail with that amount of money.“

And the lawyer was right. When the man did go to jail eventually, he didn’t have a penny anymore.

"Excuse me," a young fellow said to an older man, "I've just moved here and I wonder if this town has any criminal lawyers?"

"Well," replied the older man, "I have lived here all my life and all I can tell you is we are pretty sure we do, but no one has been able to prove it yet."

Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”

Man: “I had to get to work.”

Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”

Man: "I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus."

A lawyer was on vacation in a small farming town. While walking through the streets on a quiet Sunday morning, he came upon a large crowd gathered by the side of the road.

Going by instinct, the lawyer figured that there was some sort of auto collision. He was eager to get to the injured parties but couldn't get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."

The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.