A man was checking his itemised lawyers bill. One item read:-
Spotted you across the street. Crossed over to discuss a legal point in your case. When I got there it was not you after all. 20 dollars
Two coworkers were talking by the water fountain one guy said, "Today I got through the first step of getting divorced." The second guy replies, "Oh, did you go to Mr. Guggenheim? Everyone goes to him for divorces." The first man replies, "No, I just got married".
At a party of professionals, a doctor was having difficulty socializing. Everyone wanted to describe their symptoms and get an opinion about diagnosis. The doctor turned to a lawyer acquaintance and asked, "How do you handle people who want advice outside of the office?"
"Simple," answered the lawyer, "I send them a bill. That stops it."
The next day, the doctor, still feeling a bit reserved about what he had just finished doing, opened his mailbox to send out the bills. Much to his surprise, there sat a bill from the lawyer.
A lawyer phones the governor’s mansion shortly after midnight. “I need to talk to the governor, it’s an emergency!” exclaims the lawyer.
The governor’s assistant wakes the governor and hands him the phone. “So, what is it that’s so important that it can’t wait until morning?” grumbles the governor.
“Judge Pierson just died, and I want to take his place,” begs the attorney.
“Well, it’s okay with me if it’s okay with the undertaker,” replies the governor.