lawyer jokes
Favorite this joke What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
An offer you can’t understand.
An airplane was experiencing engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers return to their seats and prepare for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
“All set back here, captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers are still going around handing out business cards.”
A soccer hooligan is charged with disorderly conduct and assault after a match. The arresting officer states that the accused had thrown something into the river not far from the stadium.
“What exactly did the accused throw into the river?” the judge asks.
“Stones, sir,” the officer replies.
The judge is confused. “Well, that’s hardly an offense, officer.”
“It was in this case, sir,” the officer explains. “Stones was the name of the referee.”
Attorney: “She had three children, right?”
Witness: “Yes.”
Attorney: “How many were boys?”
Witness: “None.”
Attorney: “Were there any girls?”
Witness: “Your honor... I think I need a different attorney!"
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