lawyer jokes

Category: "Lawyer Jokes"
$25.00 won 9 votes

The judge wanted to make sure the witness understood the solemnity of the occasion.

"Do you know what the word 'oath' means?" asks the judge.

"Sure do," says the witness. "Oath means if I swear to a lie, I gotta stick with it."

9 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "barber7796" |
$15.00 won 9 votes

A long winded attorney was arguing a technical case before one of the judges of the superior courts. The attorney had rambled on in such a desultory way that it became very difficult to follow his line of thought, and the judge had just yawned very suggestively.

With a trace of sarcasm in his voice, the tiresome attorney ventured to observe: "I sincerely trust that I am not unduly trespassing on the time of this court."

"My friend," returned his honor, "there is considerable difference between trespassing on time and encroaching upon eternity."

9 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "maryjones" |
1 votes

"Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"

"No, this is how I dress when I go to work..."

1 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
2 votes

In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner.

Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: Did you check for breathing?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?

Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.

2 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |