Myra was going to the office party but needed a new party dress.
In the clothing store she asked, "May I try on that dress in the window, please?"
"Certainly not, madam,'" responded the salesgirl. "You'll have to use the fitting room like everyone else."
A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes that are clearly undersized for him. The salesman says, "But, sir, I can see from up here that you'll need much bigger shoes than that."
The guy says, "That's OK, please bring me the smaller ones."
The salesman brings them, the guy stuffs his feet into them, ties them tight, and then he stands up, obviously in pain. The salesman just has to ask, "Sir, why must you have these undersized shoes?"
He says to the salesman, "I work a boring job, my mother-in-law has just moved in with us, my wife is nagging all the time, and our daughter does nothing but run around screaming the whole day. The only pleasure I have in life is taking off these tight shoes."