dumb criminals jokes

A criminal has an idea for a business. To execute the crooked plan he hires a partner. He explains everything, “First, you secretly flatten people’s car tires. Then, offer our tire changing service through an advertisement. Got it?”

A few weeks later, after getting no customers, the cops show up at their tire changing garage, placing them under arrest due to suspicious advertising. On the way to jail, the criminal who thought up the plan asks the partner about the advertisement.

“Well, I had a great idea. I realized we could save ourselves a lot of time by stabbing our flyer directly into the tire.”

The bank robber enters the bank with his gun drawn in plain sight.

He walks to the middle of the lobby, pauses for a few seconds, turns around a couple of times, and then approaches a teller.

Then scratching his temple with the gun barrel, he says to the teller, "Do you ever enter a room and forget why?"

After separate but lengthy trials two guys meet in a prison-cell and tried to get the upper or lower bunk.

PRISONER #1: How long are you here for? 

PRISONER#2 : Twenty-seven years. Hwo long are you in for? 

PRISIONER #1 : Twenty-five years. 

PRISONER #2 : Well,then, you sleep by the door: you'll get out before me. 

A woman visits her husband in prison. Before leaving, she tells a corrections officer, "You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!"

The officer laughs, saying, "Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell!"

"That's not true!" she shouts. "He just told me he is been digging a tunnel for months!"