A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, ''Nobody move!''
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
Just helped my neighbor throw a rolled up carpet in the dumpster...
Her boyfriend would have helped but he is out of town.
Thief had successfully entered the art museum on the second floor, where lesser known artists are displayed. After previewing the art, he selected a piece to take.
As he was making his getaway, one of the guards came up from behind, snatched the picture from under the thief's arms and slammed it down over his head.
"Now," said the guard, "don't you go and tell the judge that I framed you!"
Three convicts escape from prison. They make it to a nearby town but are confronted by a policeman.
"Hey, aren't you those three escaped convicts?" asked the policeman.
Thinking on his feet the first convict looked around him and said, "No, I'm Mark, Mark Spencer."
"The second followed his lead and said, "My names is William, W.H. Smith."
The third said, "My name is Ken... Ken Tuckyfriedchicken!"