dumb criminals jokes
Favorite this joke Three convicts escape from prison. They make it to a nearby town but are confronted by a policeman.
"Hey, aren't you those three escaped convicts?" asked the policeman.
Thinking on his feet the first convict looked around him and said, "No, I'm Mark, Mark Spencer."
"The second followed his lead and said, "My names is William, W.H. Smith."
The third said, "My name is Ken... Ken Tuckyfriedchicken!"
Cop: So, I’m writing you a ticket for driving alone in the carpool lane.
Criminal: You’re going to feel really stupid when you look in my trunk!
The lawyer was defending a man accused of housebreaking, and said to the court:
"Your Honor, I submit that my client did not break into the house at all. He found the parlor window open and merely inserted his right arm and removed a few trifling articles. Now my clients arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish an individual committed by one of his limbs."
The Judge considered this argument for several minutes then declared: "That argument is very well put. Following it logically, I sentence the defendant's arm to one years imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.
The defendant smiled, stood up and his lawyer helped him unscrew his clients cork arm, and, leaving it with the Judge and walked out.
2nd Place
won
$25.00
Victim (after burglary): They stole everything from my house but the soap and towels.
Policeman: Why, those dirty crooks!
7th Place
won
$8.00
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