dumb criminals jokes

A thief was arrested for breaking into a Toys "R" Us store and stealing a board game...

He got Life.

The more you weigh, the harder it is to kidnap you.

Stay safe. Eat more cake.

(Dumb Criminal) Never pick the pocket of a guy wearing a wedding ring!

(Trainee) Why, because he’s a family man and needs the money?

(Dumb Criminal) No, because his wife already beat you to it.

An armed robber broke into a house and found a couple sitting at their dining room table. Pointing the gun, he said, "Let me know the names of my victims before I kill them".

Wife: My name is Eunice

Robber: Oh. My mother's name is Eunice. I can't kill you. (Pointing the guy to the man) And you ?

Husband: I'm Joseph, but all my friends call me Eunice.