dumb criminals jokes
Favorite this joke Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big Boss to steal a van load of goods from a bathroom suppliers. One stayed in the van as look out and the other went into the storeroom.
Fifteen minutes went by, then half an hour, then an hour, and no sign of him. The look out finally grew impatient and went to look for his partner. Inside the store the two came face to face.
"Where have you been?" demanded the worried look out.
"The boss told me to take a bath, but I couldn't find the soap and a towel.
A first-time prisoner is placed in his cell with a cellmate. Before long it is time for "lights out" and the cell-block becomes dark nearly silent.
Eventually, a voice from across the cell-block cries out "twenty-two!" and everyone breaks out into loud and prolonged laughter. A little while later another voice calls out "forty-one!" and again the entire cell-block enjoys a hearty laugh.
The new prisoner is confused and asks his cellmate what this is all about. The cellmate replies that they have been in prison so long that rather than tell the same jokes over and over, they have assigned numbers to them as a more efficient way to tell jokes. The new prisoner asks if he could give it a try. His cellmate says, "Sure, why not tell number eighteen!"
No response whatsoever, not even a snicker. The new prisoner is confused and asks his cellmate what went wrong. The cellmate replies, "Some people just don't know how to tell a joke."
One day a man was going home...
Thief: "Stop! Give me your wallet! (The man hands him his wallet.) Ha! See how I fooled you! There are no bullets in this gun."
Man: "Ha! See how I fooled you! There's no money in that wallet!"
Picked up a hitchhiker the other night and he asked me, "How did you know I was not a serial killer?"
I replied, "The chances of two serial killers in the same car are astronomical."
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