little johnny jokes

Little Johnny was in church when the wine and wafers were passed out. His mother leaned over and told him that he was not old enough to partake in the Communion.

When the basket was passed around she leaned over once again to tell him to drop his money in, but Little Johnny held his dollar firmly in his hand, stating...

"If I don't eat, I don't pay!"

Little Johnny's father sees him crying and worriedly asks what's wrong. "Oh," Johnny sniffles. "I lost a nickel."

"There, there, son," his father says kindly. "I'll give you a nice new nickel." He then reaches into his wallet, takes out a nickel, and gives it to Johnny.

Despite his father's kindness, Johnny only cries harder. "Say, what's wrong now, son?" his father asks, very perplexed.

"Now I wish I'd said I lost a quarter!"

Teacher: "What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is striped and the other is plain red."

Johnny: "Yes, it is very strange. I have another pair at home exactly the same."

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Teacher: "What is a nitrate?"

Little Johnny: "I'm not sure, but it's NOT cheaper than a day rate!"