Mother: Now, Little Johnny, eat your spinach. It’s good for growing children.
Little Johnny: Who wants to grow children?
Father: How did you do in your exams today, Little Johnny?
Little Johnny: I did what George Washington did.
Father: What was that?
Little Johnny: I went down in history.
Little Johnny was spending a week on his Uncle Pete's farm and was helping with the chores. One day he was helping the farm hands to spread out a stack of hay to dry out.
Finally Little Johnny could contain his curiosity no longer so he asked, as he was wiping his brow, "Uncle Pete, is it a needle in a haystack we're looking for?"
Little Johnny: "My pa is very religious. He always bows his head and says a prayer before meals."
Dick: "Mine always says something when he sits down to eat. But he does not bow his head."
Little Johnny: "What does he say?"
Dick: "Go easy on the butter, its up to a dollar and half a pound."