Little Johnny runs to his dad and says, "Dad, there's water in the carburetor of the car!"
"How can you be so sure?" the father asks.
"I just know there is," replies Little Johnny.
"Do you even know what a carburetor is?"
"No," says Little Johnny.
"OK, where is the car?"
"In the lake."
Little Johnny is riding in the car with his mom.
Little Johnny: Mommy, why is there a deer lying down on the side of the road?
Mommy: He's sleeping.
Little Johnny: Why on the side of the road?
Mommy: He likes the sound of the cars driving by, it's very soothing.
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than the nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?"
Johnny answers, "Well if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"
On his 10th birthday, little Johnny's father took him aside. "I think you're old enough now that we should have a talk about the birds and the bees."
"No!" said little Johnny. "When I turned 6 you told me there was no Easter Bunny and when I turned 8 you told me there was no Santa Claus."
"So now if you're going to tell me adults don't have sex, I don't wanna hear it!"