Little Jonny was assigned a job for the choir on Christmas his job was when the choir sang ‘and the Angel lit the candle’ he was to come out and light the candle. So before the service on Christmas Eve they had a practice. So the choir got to the part and sang ‘and the Angel lit the candle’ and there was no Jonny so they sang it a bit louder thinking he didn't hear them and still no Jonny so they sang it even louder and finally Jonny came out and sang; And the cat peed on the matches!
At school one morning the teacher asked little Johnny what he had for breakfast. Little Johnny said, well, on my way to school I come cross this Apple tree, so I climbed up there and started eating apples. I guess I eat about six, said little Johnny. No, said the teacher, it’s ate! Little Johnny said well it could've been eight I don't remember.
One day the school principal was talking to Little Johnny's teacher about his behavior, when all of a sudden Johnny comes running down the hallway. The principal stops Johnny and asks him, why are you running? Little Johnny says; I’m keeping two kids from fighting, sir. Who? ask the principal. Me and the kid chasing me; and off he went.