little johnny jokes

Father: Little Johnny, I see by your report card that you are not doing well in history. How come?

Little Johnny: I can’t help it. The teacher always asks me about things that happened before I was born.

After reviewing Little Johnny's report card, Johnny's mother gave praise for the marks he received except for one class. "Johnny, I wish you would pay a little attention to your arithmetic."

"Well I do," Johnny replied. "I pay as little attention to arithmetic as possible."

The teacher heard Little Johnny use some serious language and was shocked. “Little Johnny, don’t you ever use language like that again, not near me, not ever. Where on earth did you learn that?”

“I got it from my dad, Miss,” replies Johnny.

“Well, your daddy should be ashamed. I hope you don’t know what all that even means?”

“Oh but I do,” says Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”

During the spelling period the teacher asked the class: "Will anyone volunteer to spell matrimony?"

Little Johnny, being sort of a precocious young boy, stood up and promptly spelled matrimony.

"Now define it," said the teacher.

Little Johnny replied, "Well, I don't exactly know what it means, but my Aunt Mary says she's had enough of it."