After his mother yelled at little Johnny, he retaliated, "Don't shout at me! I am not dad!"
Teacher: Johnny what time is bedtime at your house?
Johnny: 8:30 PM, ma’am.
A few moments later
Johnny’s Best Friend: So what time did you go to sleep last night?
Johnny: 1:00 AM, after watching two movies and getting a snack.
Little Johnny: "Mommy! Mommy! I keep running around in circles!"
Mommy: "Be quiet or I'll super glue your other shoe to the floor too!"
Teacher: "One day our country will be corruption free. What tense is that?"
Little Johnny: "Future impossible tense!"