Little Johnny was celebrating his birthday soon. His father asked him what he would like for his birthday. Without hesitation Johnny said, "A spider." His father was somewhat incredulous, so he asked him again. "I really want a spider," responded Johnny.
Well, his father went to the pet store and asked the salesperson, "Do you sell spiders?"
"We sure do," was the response.
"How much do they cost?"
"$50.00," said the clerk.
Somewhat taken aback, Johnny's father said, "That's too expensive. I'm sure I can find something cheaper on the web."
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to wondering about things: "Mommy, why has Daddy got so few hairs on his head?" he asked his mother.
"He thinks a lot," replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness.
"So why do YOU have so much hair?" Little Johnny asks.
"Go eat your breakfast!" snarled his mother.
Teacher: Railroad crossing at the track. How many R's in that?
Little Johnny: There are no R's in 'that'.
After his mother yelled at little Johnny, he retaliated, "Don't shout at me! I am not dad!"