little johnny jokes

Father: Now Little Johnny, be good while I’m away.

Little Johnny: Okay dad, I’ll be good for a dollar.

Father: Why son, when I was your age I was good for nothing!

Little Johnny was being shown the shape of the earth on a globe atlas by his mother. After pointing to all countries with unusual shapes, she asks: "Now Johnny, what shape is the world?"

Johnny, looking very wise and happy, said: "Daddy says it's in terrible shape."

Little Johnny: I’m not going back to school anymore.

Mom: Why not?

Little Johnny: On Monday the teacher said that four and four make eight. On Tuesday she said six and two make eight. Today she said five and three make eight. I’m not going back until she makes up her mind.

Principal: "Johnny, no running in school. Now, just why are you in such a hurry?"

Little Johnny (out of breath): "Sir, I'm trying to keep two fellows from fighting!"

Principal: "Who are those fellows?"

Little Johnny: "Billy Jones and myself!"