Little Johnny: I’m not going back to school anymore.
Mom: Why not?
Little Johnny: On Monday the teacher said that four and four make eight. On Tuesday she said six and two make eight. Today she said five and three make eight. I’m not going back until she makes up her mind.
Principal: "Johnny, no running in school. Now, just why are you in such a hurry?"
Little Johnny (out of breath): "Sir, I'm trying to keep two fellows from fighting!"
Principal: "Who are those fellows?"
Little Johnny: "Billy Jones and myself!"
Little Johnny came home from Sunday School with the distressing news news that he had lost the penny given to him for the collection.
"But Johnny, this is the third Sunday in a row that you have lost your penny," indicated his mother.
"Well," replied Johnny, "I gotta win sooner or later."