Little Johnny's teacher asks, "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Little Johnny replies, "Because George was the one holding the axe?"
Little Johnny asked his dad, "What do you do when you put one foot on the boat and the other on the dock?"
"Swim," replied his dad. "You fall in, and then you swim."
Teacher: What has the 2016 election taught us?
Little Johnny: You don't need to hold press conferences if you have a Twitter account!
Teacher: If there are seven flies and I hit one with a ruler, how many are left?
Little Johnny: Just the squashed one.