Teacher: Why are you late?
Little Johnny: There was an old man that lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: Were you helping him search for it? How nice of you.
Little Johnny: Actually I was sitting on it, waiting for him to give up searching and leave.
Little Johnny was awaiting the arrival of his piano teacher when his mother inquired, "Little Johnny, did you wash your hands?"
Little Johnny replied, "Yes."
Mother: "And your face?"
Little Johnny: "Yes mother."
Mother: "And did you wash behind your ears?"
Little Johnny: "On her side, I did."
Teacher: "Class does anyone know what is a comet?"
Little Johnny: "A what?"
Teacher: "A comet. You know what a comet is?"
Little Johnny: "No."
Teacher: "Don't you know what they call a star with a tail?"
Little Johnny: "Oh sure. Mickey Mouse. "