musician jokes

An opera singer said she could teach me how to hit high C...

I said, “No thanks. I’ve heard that pitch.”

SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus.

What you may not know is that Tuba is also an acronym...

Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus.

Four cowboys are sitting on a mountain one night having a few cold ones around a campfire. One is a tuba player, one a trumpet player, one a conductor, and the last a coloratura soprano.

The tuba player tosses an empty can of Budweiser into the air, whips out his gun, and shoots it declaring, "I just killed the king of beers!"

The trumpet player, not wanting to be outdone, tosses his empty can of Coors into the air, shoots it and declares, "Ha! I just shot the silver bullet!"

The soprano, ever so demurely, reaches into her backpack, pulls out a bottle of Michelob, calmly drinks the whole thing, tosses her bottle into the air, and shoots the conductor.

Grinning broadly at her fellow musicians she says, "Guys, it just doesn't get any better than this."