Mother to music teacher: “Jimmy has been taking violin lessons for 6 weeks now. What suggestions do you have to assist my son in learning to play the violin?”
Music teacher: “A new bridge for his violin.”
Mother: “OK. Did his get broken?”
Music teacher: “No, I think it will help him get his music across.”
The conductor turned to the viola student and said, “You should have taken up the viola earlier."
“Why?” asked the student. “Do you think the practice would have made me really good?”
“No,” said the conductor. “But you might have given up by now.”
A little boy thanked his grandfather for the set of drums he bought him for his birthday. “They’re the best present I’ve ever had,” he said. “They’ve already earned me $80.”
“Wow!”’ said the grandfather. “You must have learned to play them real good!”
“Not really,” said the boy. “But Mom gives me $5 not to play them during the day, and Dad gives me $5 not to play them in the evening.”
A guy kept boring his friends by going on and on about his ideas for a musical based on his life.
Eventually one of them said to him, “Look man, there’s no need to make a song and dance about it!”