What kind of phone does an optometrist have?
An “Eye Phone”!
Teacher: "Where is your home work?"
Student: "Please visit my home page or follow me in instagram."
Remember when everyone had diaries and got mad when someone read them?
Now they put everything on Facebook and get mad when they don't!
Conversation between a guy and a salesperson during the new Tesla roadster drive test...
"Excuse me, sir, I see on the specs that the new Tesla roadster comes standard with a defibrillator?"
"Are you ready to hear the price?"