technology jokes

It was my friend’s first camping trip with her husband, and they were lost. He tried all the usual tactics to determine direction—moss on the trees (there was none), direction of the sun (it was overcast), and so on. Just as she began to panic, he spotted a cabin in the distance.

"This way," he said as he led her back to their camp.

"How did you do that?" my friend asked.

"Simple. In this part of the country, the satellite dishes point south."

A wife started doing her make up as soon as she woke up.

Her husband asked the reason.

She replied, "I have locked my phone with facial recognition. And it's not recognizing me without makeup."

Presently, I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Therefore, every day I go down on the street and tell the passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before and what I will do tomorrow night.

Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening and spending time in my pool. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them. And it works!

I already have three people following me... two police officers and a psychiatrist!