animal jokes

Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. "I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."

"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.

"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."

"Hello, hello?" shrilled a spinsterish voice over the phone. "Is this the SPCA?"

"Yes, this is the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals."

"I want you to send somebody over right away."

"What's wrong?"

"There's a horrid magazine salesman, just sitting in a tree teasing my dog."

What do you call a three humped camel?

Pregnant!

What did the shark say to the clam when it would not share its candy?

Why are you so shellfish?