Customer: I'd like some poison for mice please.
Chemist: Have you tried Boots?
Customer: I want to poison them, not kick them to death.
Boy : I lost my dog!
Girl : Well, why don't you put an advertisement in the paper?
Boy : What's the good of that my dog can't read?
Q:What did the Grape say when the Elephant stepped on it?
A:Nothing, It just let out a little Whine!
How is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Because an elephant carries his trunk, but a snail carries his house!