animal jokes

A woman was following her boyfriend home in her car when he hit a rabbit in the road. He stopped the car and saw the rabbit lying prone in the road. He felt terrible.

His girlfriend assessed the situation and dug into her purse and sprayed the rabbit who quickly jumped up hopped a few feet and turned and waved one of his front paws.

The boyfriend said what did you spray him with? She said my hair spray it says on the label:

REVIVES DEAD HAIR (hare) GIVES PERMANENT WAVE

Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

The Retail Store!

How did the chicken cross the road?

On a wing and a prayer.

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?