animal jokes

Category: "Animal Jokes"
0 votes

What do you call a three legged dog?

Tripod!

What do you call a two legged dog?

Bipod!

What do you call a one legged dog?

Pogo!

0 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "William David Ratliff" |
1 votes

So a duck walks into a bar and asks the Bartender, "Got any gwapes?"

The bartender says, "No!".

The duck walks out, comes back the next day and asks the Bartender, "Got any gwapes?"

The bartender says, "No!".

The duck walks out, comes back the next day and asks the Bartender, "Got any gwapes?"

The bartender says, "No! And if you come back again I'll staple your beak to the bar".

The duck walks out, comes back the next day and asks the Bartender, "Got any staples?"

The bartender says, "No!".

"Got any gwapes"?

1 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "dude22" |
1 votes

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean Beef!

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef!

What do you call it when a cow tries to jump over a barbed wire fence?

Udder Destruction!

1 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "dude22" |
$5.00 won 6 votes

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The bartender looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

"And you can talk!" exclaims the bartender.

"I see your ears are working, too," says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly, sorry about that" says the bartender as he pours the duck a pint. "It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing around this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer."

The flabbergasted bartender cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the bartender says to him:

"You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"

"Sounds marvelous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call."

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the bartender says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."

"I'm always looking for the next job," says the duck. "Where is it?"

"At the circus," says the bartender.

"The circus?" repeats the duck.

"That's right," replies the bartender.

"The circus?" the duck asks again. "With the big TENT?"

"Yeah!" the bartender replies.

"With all the animals who live in CAGES, and performers who live in CARAVANS?" says the duck.

"Of course," the bartender replies.

"And the tent has CANVAS sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.

"That's right!" says the bartender.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says: "What would they want with a plasterer???"

6 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "srinu" |