animal jokes

Where do you get dragon milk?

From cows with short legs!

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?

It gets toad away.

A guy sees an advertisement in a pet-shop window: "Talking Centipede $100."

The guy goes in and buys it. He gets home, opens the box and asks the centipede if he wants to go for a beer.

The centipede doesn't answer, so the guy closes the lid, convinced he's been swindled. Thirty minutes later he decides to try again.

He raises his voice and shouts, "Do you want to go for a beer?"

The centipede pokes his head out of the box and says,

"Pipe down! I heard you the first time. I'm putting on my shoes!"

My Toy Pomeranian got ate by my grumpy old cat. I hated it and I loved the little guy!

A few days later the cat coughed the little hairball up!

Hey, he lost a few pounds and looks pretty good!