animal jokes

Two fleas were walking out of a cinema when they discovered it was raining hard.
“Shall we walk?” said one flea.
“No,” said the other, “Let’s take a dog.”

“Look at that speed!” said one hawk to another as the jet fighter plane hurtled over their heads.
“Hmph!” snorted the other. “You would fly fast too if your tail was on fire!”

“Mommy,” said the baby polar bear, “am I one hundred percent pure polar bear?”
“Of course you are, son,” said his Daddy, “Why do you ask?”
“’Cause I’m f-f-f-freezing!”

Two snakes are walking down the street. "Oh man, I have to ask you something," the little one said.

"What is it?"

"Are we dangerous? You know, venomous?"

The other one said, "Of course we are, why?"

"Because I just bit myself!"