animal jokes

SINGLE FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a
very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods,
riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights
lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub
me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home
from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call ...
and ask for Daisy. Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the owner of an 8-week old black Labrador retriever.

A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" the man shouted "NO why don’t you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"

Q. Why does a cow wear a bell?
A. Because his horn doesn’t work!

One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!