Q: What do you call a blind deer?
A: A no-eyed deer (say it out loud)
Q: What do you call a blind deer with no legs?
A: A still no-eyed deer.
Two cats want to cross the river. One is named one-two-three, the other is named un-deux-trois. Who made it across the river first? One-two-three did. Un-deux-trois cat sank.
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat.
He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.
Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
A pony walks into a bar and asks, "Bartender, may I have a drink?"
Bartender says, "What? I can't hear you. Speak up!"
"May I please have a drink?" asks the pony.
"What? You have to speak up!" the bartender says.
"Could I please have a drink?"
"Now listen, if you don't speak up I will not serve you," the bartender says.
"I'm sorry," the pony adds, "I'm just a little hoarse."