animal jokes

One afternoon, a woman was gardening when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. She could tell from his collar and well-fed stomach that he had an owner. But when she walked into the house, he followed her, sauntered down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner. Almost an hour later, he went to the door, and she let him out. The next day he was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour. This continued for a few days. Curious, the woman pinned a note on his collar: “Every afternoon your dog has been coming to my house and taking a nap.”
The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: “Cloud lives in a home with five children…he’s just trying to catch up on his sleep.”

In a small town the veterinarian, who was also the chief of police, was awakened by the telephone. “Please hurry!” said the woman’s voice on the other end of the line.

“Do you need the police or a vet?” he asked. “Both,” the woman replied. “I’m not able to get my dog’s mouth open, and there’s a burglar’s leg in it.”

Dogs may not be able to use the Internet but they do have pee-mail.
When they go outside they always want to check their messages and leave a status update.

Am I a polar bear?
One afternoon in the Arctic, a father polar bear and his son
polar bear were sitting in the snow. The son polar bear turned
to his father and asked, "Dad, am I 100% polar bear?"
The father polar bear replied, "Of course, son, you're 100%
polar bear." Why do you ask? I’m Freezing!! replied the his son