Am I a polar bear?
One afternoon in the Arctic, a father polar bear and his son
polar bear were sitting in the snow. The son polar bear turned
to his father and asked, "Dad, am I 100% polar bear?"
The father polar bear replied, "Of course, son, you're 100%
polar bear." Why do you ask? I’m Freezing!! replied the his son

Mother mouse and a baby mouse were walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacked them. The mother mouse goes, "BARK!" and the cat runs away.
"See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important to learn a foreign language".

Haven’t verified this on Snopes but it sounds legit.
A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.