The pet shop in my town is advertising free chips with every cat.
Me being the funny guy I am, I decided to take their sign and put it outside the Chinese Restaurant.
Why do you never see an elephant up a tree?
Because they are really good at it.
A woman was following her boyfriend home in her car when he hit a rabbit in the road. He stopped the car and saw the rabbit lying prone in the road. He felt terrible.
His girlfriend assessed the situation and dug into her purse and sprayed the rabbit who quickly jumped up hopped a few feet and turned and waved one of his front paws.
The boyfriend said what did you spray him with? She said my hair spray it says on the label:
REVIVES DEAD HAIR (hare) GIVES PERMANENT WAVE
Where do animals go when their tails fall off?
The Retail Store!