animal jokes

Fish Number One: "I'd give an arm and a leg to be able to get out of this lake."

Fish Number Two: "Looks like you've already donated. Now what's your excuse?"

Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?

A: "Put it on my bill."

I ran into my neighbor walking his 2 pit bulls. He told me he was going to the maul.

I hope I heard that correctly.

This guy just sat around, snapping his fingers. Wherever he went, he kept snapping his fingers. People were beginning to get annoyed. Finally a man walked up to him and asked him why he kept snapping his fingers.

"To keep the elephants away," was the reply.

"Elephants? There aren't any elephants within 1,000 miles of here!"

"Then it must be working!"